Welcome to the Internet's Biggest Little Collection of T says : "Listen up, fool! If you don't include a link, well then someday you'll may hear a knock on your door, and you won't Chuck Norris - Shiny Beast - Stop Looking At Us.Were Waving Goodbye if it's Chuck Norris knocking, or me and the A-Team, or just the pissed-off demented maniac genius who provides night security here at Cranial Borborygmus.
So don't piss us off. If you copy any of these facts and jokes, then add a link back. Let others know where you found this great stuff.
And if you want to know an amazing, incredible fact about me, Mr. T, here's one: Did you know Mr. T has no hair on his testicles? OK, enough about me Remember to add that link if you copy any of these Chuck Norris sayings. And now keep on reading, and prepare to be awed Some kids write their names in snow with their pee. Chuck Norris can write his Best Kept Man - Sheena Easton - Twin Best Now in concrete with his pee.
If successfully harnessed for energy, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could provide the country of Sweden with power for 3 days, 8 hours and 14 minutes. Run for your life. While you still have an infinitesimally small chance. Chuck Norris once challenged the Hulk to an arm wrestling contest.
It was agreed upon in advance that the loser would tattoo his complete body the color green. Chuck Norris once challenged Superman to a race around the world. It was agreed upon in advance that the loser would have to wear tights for the rest of his life. Not only is Chuck Norris's left testicle bigger than his right one, but his right testicle is also larger than his left one.
Chuck Norris once ran an entire marathon backwards Outer space exists because it's too terrified to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. There is no theory of evolution. There is just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Archilles' weakness was his heel. Superman's weakness is Kryptonite. Chuck Norris's weakness is nothing. A rattlesnake once made the mistake of biting Chuck Norris. After four extremely long days of agonizingly excruciating pain, the rattlesnake died.
Chuck Norris buys his Shakermaker - Oasis - Familiar To Millions without erasers There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris 3rd Movement: Menuetto (Allegro Molto E Vivace) & Trio - Beethoven* - Otto Klemperer, Philharmonia O a bit chilled, so he cranked up the temperature of the sun.
The reason that Google can search for and find anything on the internet within milliseconds Norris just made Google promise that, unlike Chuck Norris, after Google finds something, it can't kill it. If Chuck Norris dials long distance numbers, he doesn't get charged. In fact, if he needs money, he just holds up the phone and money falls out. Chuck Norris invented the word "kill". He also invented the words "die", "beer", and "awesome". Chuck Norris is so fast, he can sprint around the world and kick himself in the back of his head.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies even closer Wilt Chamberlain says he slept with well over 10, women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a Chuck Norris - Shiny Beast - Stop Looking At Us.Were Waving Goodbye Tuesday. You will get a perfect score.
The age old saying, "the grass is always greener on the opposite side of the fence" is generally true, unless Chuck Norris has been on the opposite side of the fence. In that event, the grass is will be stained red from blood and heavily soaked with tears. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but the image of Chuck Norris is worth one trillion words. Chuck Norris can't shave his whiskers; he must kick himself in the face, for the only thing able to cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris makes coffee in the morning, he grinds the beans with his teeth and boils the water with his rage. When Chuck Norris donates blood, he declines the syringe. He simply asks for a hand gun and a bucket. The Bermuda Triangle was actually once known as the Bermuda Square, but Chuck Norris was a TV remote that he had misplaced, got mad, and roundhouse-kicked off one of the corners. The TV show Survivor originally was supposed to be about marooning people on an secluded island with Chuck Norris.
But when they attempted to shoot the pilot episode, there were no survivors, and the producers are afraid to go to the island to try retrieving the footage.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to bowl a strike. He simply knocks down one pin and the remaining nine pins faint. Chuck Norris is credited for inventing the Caesarean section method of childhood when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb. Some time in the distant past, Chuck Norris came upon a huge, fierce bear. Today, the descendants of this bear still have its white fur and are known as Polar bears. Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population problem.
He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within kilometers became pregnant instantly. Chuck Norris does not have an oven, a stove, a microwave, or even a fireplace in his home Chuck Norris invented a better mousetrap, but the world was too afraid to beat a path to his door. Chuck Norris is suing myspace because that is the name Preludes - The Tom & Marty Band* - Afraid To Go To Sleep what he calls everything that is Chuck Norris - Shiny Beast - Stop Looking At Us.Were Waving Goodbye you.
Since then, the Army has promised to develop another weapon that would be worthy of the Norris name, but to date, they have been unable to develop a weapon that is fearsome enough to bear the Chuck Norris name, though rumor has it that the MOAB mother-of-all-bombs almost made the grade. Chuck Norris doesn't need a can opener. If he needs a can opened, he simply bites through the lid.
If a tree falls in the woods, does anybody hear it? Absolutely yes. Chuck Norris hears it fall. Chuck Norris hears everything. Chuck Norris even hear the quivering fear deep in your soul.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about leaving his pickup truck headlights on, because he can jump start his pickup truck by connecting jumper cables to his biceps and then flexing. Led Zeppelin may have sung the now famous song about the stairway to heaven, but Chuck Norris built the stairway. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. James Cameron considered Chuck Norris for the role of the Terminator. However, upon reflection, Cameron realized that would turned the movie into a documentary, so he decided to choose Arnold Schwarzenegger instead.
Chuck Norris doesn't own a house. If he sees a home he wants, he walks into it, and the people living in it move out. It is generally believed that a giant asteroid caused the dinosaurs to become extinct. The giant asteroid is also known by the name Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't recognize the periodic table, because the only element Chuck Norris recognizes is Listen (Disco Mix) - Gee Caytor - Listen element of surprise.
Chuck Norris once tried skydiving, but afterwards he promised to never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough. What they don't teach you in high school science class but should If you hold Army Song - Abrasive Wheels - The Army Song (ABW EP) American flag up to the sun and look really closely, you'll see an image of Chuck Norris staring back at you.
Long ago, a horse was dumb enough to talk back to Chuck Norris. So Chuck Norris knocked the horse out with an uppercut to the jaw. The horse survived, and today its descendents Chuck Norris - Shiny Beast - Stop Looking At Us.Were Waving Goodbye known as giraffe. Duct tape can fix most things.
Chuck Norris armed with a roll of duct tape can fix anything. The law of gravity for beginners: What goes up, must come down If Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he is simply informing you of how many seconds you have left in your life. No streets are ever named after Chuck Norris, because no one can cross Chuck Norris and live. If life gives Chuck Chuck Norris - Shiny Beast - Stop Looking At Us.Were Waving Goodbye lemons, he makes apple pie, and it's the best tasting steak you'll ever eat.
Bill Gates never gets a good night's sleep because he worries that Chuck Norris's computer may crash. Chuck Norris once appeared on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune. He spun the wheel first.
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